Who's Your Daddy? My 400th BJJ class milestone...

Today I celebrate two milestones in my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu journey - two full years of training (since March 2023) and my 400th class (not including open mat sparring sessions). If I add it all up, that probably comes to about 600 hours of training on the mats. This is roughly the equivalent amount of time one spends in classrooms for their bachelor's degree. And that feels about right. I know enough to be a semi-competent generalist, but not enough to be worth much to anyone yet. Still - I feel like these milestones are cause for reflection.

In my previous and only post about my BJJ journey, I opined about the humility that comes from losing one's "man card" via daily chokes, arm-bars, and pressure taps. And while the humble-pie diet and personal humiliation remain ever-present, there is also a small, but growing sense that, "I got this."

Now don't get me wrong. That doesn't mean that I always prevail. Not at all. But if I roll with a neophyte or untrained person, a stunning reversal has occurred. When I was the untrained guy rolling with a higher belt, I felt like I was a child again - wrestling with my uncle or dad on the family room shag carpet. It was ridiculous. I didn't stand a chance. They were toying with me - like you might do with a baby kitten. And now, to my delight... I'm their daddy. Who's your daddy, Mr. Untrained Neophyte? That's right. I am. I'm your daddy.

So there's that. And I'm not gonna lie - it is an enormously satisfying feeling. Even with very strong and athletic people, it is almost no contest. I could tell stories, but I don't want to embarrass anyone. Is this a not-so-humble brag? Probably. Hey - sue me. I've been doing this for 600 hours. Let me relish in some small victories, okay?

But beyond the glow of some minor personal triumphs, what is more interesting to me is what I am just now starting to learn. Far from feeling like I am nearing an end-point, I feel like I am discovering a whole new dimension of the art. It is all so new to me that I don't think I can convey it well, but I'm going to try anyway:

1. Don't Sweat The Technique: If you don't catch the hip-hop reference here, then we probably can't be friends. So look it up on Spotify or YouTube. But what do I mean? Isn't BJJ all about technique? Well yes - 100%. And also - not at all. Here's the deal. There is a place for, "if they do this to you, then you do that." Or even - "if they do this to you, here are three things you can respond with." And this is totally necessary and good, but it also is in danger of missing the whole point. The trick isn't really about having a bag of tricks to perform in certain contexts. The key is to start to understand and feel how to off-balance, use leverage, change force vectors, and use human nature against an opponent.

2. Balancing Act: Here's what I notice about rolling with really gifted higher belts - you're never safe because they can off-balance and manipulate your position. They take you off your base. They sweep you from standing or from your knees. One minute you're on top and the next thing you know they are on your back with their arm cutting off blood flow through your carotid arteries. Good times. Do techniques allow them to do this? Yes, of course, but it isn't from a quick mental retrieval from the technique bag. It is a body awareness of mutual weight distribution and knowing how to shift it.

3. It's All About Leverage: Another thing about those upper belts - they're tough to attack because they don't over-extend ends of levers (hands/feet/head) to attack... and they're tough to defend because they always find and expose end of levers to attack. The untrained neophyte is usually rigid and extended - and this makes them easy targets. If you extend your hand to push me away, Daddy's going to take your arm and break it. We talk a lot about managing distance - you either want to be far enough away to be out of striking range or close and tight enough that they can't use anatomical levers to access joint locks and such. Again, the point is that we're looking to protect or expose levers, not simply for "move X" to your "move Y."

4. Don't Use The Force, Luke: Again, if you aren't getting the Star Wars irony, don't admit it to me. That's just sad. Look - BJJ is effortful. We all sweat profusely. But it shouldn't be because you are resisting force with more force. No. The key is to recognize the force vector and redirect it (usually with leverage). If someone is pushing into me, the best thing to do is not to push back. It is to alter the direction of their force. It is shockingly easy, but hard for our reptilian brains to do. We want to meet force with force, but that is almost always a mistake. As my 4-stripe black belt coach likes to say, work with what they give you. Don't force anything. Change the force vector.

5. Initiate Push-Pull Reactions: Once you realize that your opponent's reptilian brain is reactive to force you can use this against them. So for example, you push them with the knowledge that they will likely push you back - and when they do you turn your push into a pull... using their energy and momentum to drag their body across you so you can take their back. This principle works from all kinds of positions with all levels of opponents. You basically use their reactive human nature against them. It isn't "if x then y," it is, "when I do x, they will do anti-x, which I will use against them."

   
   

Can you tell I love this stuff? What I love the most if how all of these principles overlay onto life so perfectly. And while I could wax on about that, perhaps I will leave that to another blog post at another time. Until then, I challenge you - as I challenge myself - how can I use these lessons to do life better?

Until the next milestone, OSS.